I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
