For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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