roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize