Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
there's paper in my vomit.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
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No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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