Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
