Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
