Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
