question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
