So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
