Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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