yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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