...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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