it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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