is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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