This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
