U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
