You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I had to cum in my sink.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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