I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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