Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
