I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
