I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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