I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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