Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
