maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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