And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
