So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
