The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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