I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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