ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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