I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
