And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now