I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too