I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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