I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
