Kiss
Puke
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
