Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
