This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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