once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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