Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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