Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
