pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
