You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
