I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
