Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
