my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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