what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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