My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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