an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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