3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
