I wannas sexs uuuuu
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
