mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize