i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
