That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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