Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
