i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
