Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
