dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
