wrigley field is MILF paradise
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
