that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
