ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
