she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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