All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
