You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
