At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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