Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
