she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I didn't notice because vodka
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
